Joyce Elaine (Stanley) Monachina

Joyce Monachina of Lee, Massachusetts, passed away May 13, 2024, just days shy of her 91st birthday, she was with her husband of 71 years in their home when she died.  Her family, friends, and caregivers mourn the loss of this dear woman. 

She will be remembered for her laughter, her close observation of human nature, her compassion, love of social justice, and most of all, her humor and kindness.  She was a great listener. To her friends and family, her poetry and love of music, her continual spiritual search, and her joy, were her hallmarks.

She cared deeply about the struggles of the world, and in her later years, as a member of the First Congregational Church of Lee, was proud to have participated in conversations there and a vote for an Open and Affirming community, which was to affirm to full life and ministry LGBTQ+ persons.  Her focus on personal and spiritual growth stayed with her until her last days.  At her bedside, her family, caregivers, and minister read and sang to her. Her Hospice nurses and aides, and other therapists and caregivers helped her live at home until the end.

Joyce Elaine Stanley’s life began in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, on May 17, 1933. Her identical twin Fay was also her best friend, as they moved many times during childhood. At one point, they went to an Episcopal church-affiliated boarding school in Saratoga Springs, New York, where she discovered her love of the mystery of faith. While other students complained about daily chapel requirements, she relished it.  She followed that thread throughout her life.

Soon after entering her senior year in high school, she moved with her family to Lee, Massachusetts.  There, she met her future husband, Paul. They did not date right way, but a few years later, they formed a lifelong bond. They came from very different cultures, and they learned from each other.  For a time after they married, Joyce lived with Paul’s Sicilian family, and even learned some of their favorite songs, which she could sing until the end.

After her youngest child was old enough to go to school, Joyce returned to work. She taught at Prospect Hill Nursery School for 30 years; art and music were her domain.  Her creative spirit was fully alive with young children, and she could be found sitting on the floor and playing word and number games, all in the name of education, but the sheer play was the joy of it.  Later, she helped her daughter to set up the Lee Youth Association pre-K program, and enjoyed being a substitute at St. Paul’s Children’s Center in Stockbridge.

Around the same time that she went back to school to become early childhood certified, she also discovered a religious organization that would change her life and her husband’s.  It was the Vineyard Community, at Cranwell, a school and chapel run by Jesuits, in Lenox.  There, with the creative community of worshippers, Joyce performed her poetry to an audience for the first time, a daunting feat for her.  She studied voice with another member, and acted in plays written by another member, William Gibson, who directed his Body and the Wheel and Butterfingers Angel for the group. She and Paul were transformed by this experience. The Vineyard taught them new ways to be in service to the world and to be alive spiritually. They both named this as the most transformative experience of their lives, which also brought them closer as a couple.  After the closure of the school and subsequent closing of the chapel, they explored other churches throughout the area, and eventually found a community that matched their values, both spiritual and of the world at the same time; the First Congregational Church of Lee became their community.

While Joyce loved people, she relished quiet and enjoyed playing the piano and writing poetry. She would get lost in projects, painting curtains for her first child, Paul, she might forget about the rest of day, lose track of time. Writing a poem about her twin, Fay, who died at 23 years old, Joyce would travel deep into private thoughts.

Six years ago, Joyce and Paul moved into an apartment in her youngest daughter and son-in-law’s house. There, in these later years, they enjoyed the care and companionship of family.

One of the fine moments in Joyce’s life was a decision to invite a Fresh Air Fund child to spend time with the family each summer.  That young girl became a member of the family, each year spending summer vacations at the beach as well as the ordinary times around the busy household. Joyce adored her nephews, niece, and grandchildren, often writing poems to commemorate their births and other of life’s milestones.  She could be counted on to open a family event with a blessing, a poem, or a toast. Her family will miss these gifts.  And they will always raise a glass and even write poems to honor her and remember her.  Of course, nothing is the same without her.

Joyce leaves her husband of 71 years, Paul; and children, Paul Monachina (Carol Way), Kathryn Monachina-Mukherjee (Ron Mukherjee), Judith Monachina (Fredric Rutberg), and Janis Monachina (Jeffrey Keenan);  grandchildren Daniel Bettega, Derek Bettega, and Julia Keenan, and great grandchild, Dalton Sumner;  Fresh Air Fund daughter Kim Collins; sister Margaret Newbold, (Sid Newbold); nephews Tom Mahan and Bob Wachunas, and niece Amanda Newbold. 

Joyce was predeceased by her parents, Olive Wells Stanley and Sampson Stanley, and her twin sister, Fay.

 A service for Joyce will be held at the First Congregational Church of Lee, on Wednesday, May 22, at 1:00 p.m.  Guests are invited to a reception after the service at their home at 65 Franklin Street, Lee, Mass.   There will be a private family burial at a later date.